Facilitation & Coaching

The Facilitator's Guide to Virtual Conflict

What is Virtual Conflict?

Virtual conflict is conflict between two or more individuals that started or moved to a virtual platform such as email, online chat, video, and/or teleconference. The following are examples of how Virtual Conflict might materialize or begin:

  • May start or lead to passive aggressive behavior
  • Virtual messages tend to be bolder in nature
  • “Chat” is miscommunicated or misunderstood
  • HR/EE policies are often unknown or forgotten

Because body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and other cues normally experienced during in-person commutation are often missing in a virtual setting, it’s easier for virtual conflict to occur.

What Triggers Virtual Conflict?

There are various actions that can trigger virtual conflict, but below are a few examples:

  • Different remote workstyles and habits
  • Interpersonal and communication style clashes
  • Work-pace and schedule conflicts
  • Technology gaps, network issues, system outages, or software breakdowns
  • “Old grudges” brought back to life in a virtual setting

Why Address Virtual Conflict?

The focus of a workplace setting should be to achieve goals and deliverables. Virtual conflict moves individuals away from that focus and puts success at risk. To help mitigate that risk, a healthy conversation and collaboration is needed. However, this interaction requires a foundation of trust.

Recommendations for Addressing Virtual Conflict

Take an Empathetic Approach

There are various ways you can show empathy!

  • Be the change!
  • Reflect on how you would want others to respond if you were involved in virtual conflict.
  • Listen by sipping your coffee (or beverage of choice).
  • Create space for others to engage by stopping to take a sip of coffee, AND LISTEN!
  • Don’t let issues fester.
  • If you hear or see an issue, immediately take it offline to address it.
  • Conduct check-ins.
  • See how teammates and colleagues are doing. Ask about their day. Follow up from an issue.
  • Encourage icebreakers and team-builders.
  • Some can be conducted in less than five minutes!

Create Virtual Working Agreements

Consider the following for your virtual working agreements:

  • Being honest about schedules, availability, and workstyles.
  • Identifying “quiet hours.”
  • Time for focus without interruption.
  • Coming to a consensus on “no fly zones.”
  • Topics not to be discussed or deliberated virtually.
  • Establishing preferred communication styles and channels.
  • Having trackability to action items with action takers and timelines.
  • Agreeing upon and documented escalation path(s).

Explore Facilitation Techniques

There are two techniques we recommend:

  • Start with context (or create space for context-setting).
  • Clearly articulate the purpose of the discussion.
  • Provide the desired outcome.
  • Make a commitment to note-taking and action-item tracking
  • Set the tone (or course correct as needed).
  • Be the first to greet everyone.
  • Prepare and provide an icebreaker other form of intros.
  • Create or review Working Agreements before engaging.
  • Watch and listen for “no fly zones.”

Call to Action

Want to start growing your virtual conflict knowledge in your area? Try a few of the following recommendations!

  • Embody the attitude you would want to experience.
  • Don’t be afraid to address virtual conflict.
  • Know the “no fly zones” and respect them.
  • Provide an empathetic approach.

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